I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
