walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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