My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
