Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
