the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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