scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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