Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize