my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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