And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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