I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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