After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
In America we eat man semen.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
