I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
