whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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