Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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