The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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