He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
