Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
