would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
