Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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