OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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