I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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