I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
