This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
