Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
