I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
