Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I just shit out all my problems.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
