Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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