So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
