so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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