i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry about my life...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
