Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
