we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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