Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We left the knife in your bed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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