yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think i got beer on your cat.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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