In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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