i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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