I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
