You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
They have beer where we have blood.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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