In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
