u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
