im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
