Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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