Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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