got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
