Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
