Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
