you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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