So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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