And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We just shotgunned beers for America
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
