I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
