Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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