I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
