and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
