Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
