haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
