i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
