I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
