Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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