I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize