ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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