i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
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I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
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well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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