Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
