shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
