Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
