I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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