Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
