I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
