Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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