Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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