one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize