WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
